Lucky 13... or not?

I'm Pregnant. It is a Miracle. Literally.

This has been a LONG time coming. In October, after months of fertility, I was told that I would not be able to have anymore children, and I needed to start thinking about a Hysterectomy. I was devastated, but I kept thinking I needed to hurry and get it done before the end of the year for insurance purposes, but I just couldn't make myself make the call. Finally, we decided this wasn't a decision you rush to make just to avoid a new deductible, so I chilled out a little.

Next thing I know, I'm pregnant!

So. I am pregnant for the 13th time. 13!

Is 13 Lucky? I feel so blessed, and yes, LUCKY to be expecting again. And the first 13 weeks of pregnancy were great! I was Sick, and Tired, and deliriously happy! Then Week 13 came.

All the same old familiar problems started. Cramping, back problems, etc. I went to see my sweet Dr. and right away he took me into a room so we could listen for that heartbeat. That moment of silence after they put the microphone to your belly, before the sound of that heartbeat, is the worst silence in the entire world!! And then FINALLY that racing beat! I was so relieved!! The baby was Fine. To make sure, my Dr. did a quick ultrasound to see what could be causing my pain. Cysts. The Dr. said is was going to be ok, we were just going to keep an eye on them, and I was to take it easy.

From there it just went down hill. I am 15 weeks now, and this week started out with a bang. On Sunday night I started spotting. For me, that means one thing. I showed up at Dr. Verads office with big tears asking if they could find a heartbeat. I have to say, I LOVE my Dr. and I LOVE his staff. They took me right in, no appointment, no warning. They were all so concerned, and so sympathetic. We went back to listen for the heartbeat.

I KNEW we weren't going to hear anything. I KNEW he was going to say, "We can't hear it with this, but lets go do a quick look and see." And then I KNEW we were going to do an ultrasound and see the same thing I've seen more often than not. A baby, and no Heartbeat, and that would lead to all the other steps that go along with losing a baby.

However, this time was different. There was STILL a Heartbeat!!! The minute I heard it, I think I fell apart! I can not explain the feelings I had. I was so incredibly thankful to my Father in Heaven for not letting this be like all the other times. And I cried. Holy Cow I cried!! I was Hysterical! And my sweet Dr. just kept the microphone on my belly, even though it was violently jerking with my sobbing, just so I could just listen to that incredible sound of my baby's heart beating! After a few minutes, when my sobbing slowed down, he asked if I was ok to hold still for a minute so he could really listen to the heart and make sure it was ok. And then we went in for an ultrasound to see what was causing all the problems.

My Placenta tore a little, which is what caused the bleeding. Without all the medical jargon, here is the problem: I have thick blood that clots and blocks the placenta. For my treatment, I give myself a shot everyday that is going to thin out my blood, and we're hoping that will solve the problem. It's a pretty aggressive treatment, but after consulting with a few other doctors and knowing this is basically my last chance at having another child, we decided to go for it. The risk being I hemorrhage and die. Cory and I are optimistic that this time is going to be different, and we will be able to bring home the final member of our family.

I think we are doing the right thing, and I feel confident that everything will be fine.

In the past, my pregnancies have only made it to week 10, with 2 exceptions. We lost a little boy at 15 weeks, and our little girl at 23 weeks. Since I am 15 weeks now, we met that mile stone. I have my eyes set on week 23, if we can make it that far, I think we'll have this thing in the bag.

I wanted to thank everyone for your kind words, and support, and most of all your prayers!!

Up-Date...

Just a quick up-date for family and friends wondering what has happened to us...

First, let me say our computer is on the fritz, (add it to the list right?) So, no pictures, but we are all alive and well, and healthy for a change, so that is a step in the right direction.

Here's the breakdown:

Bo Daniel: Bo started pre-school after Thanksgiving, and is loving every second he spends at 'cool'. As with his older brother, we are working on his speech, and it seems to be improving daily. We haven't put him in Speech yet, and don't know if we will, but time will tell. This little boy just makes me laugh one second, and scream the next! He is as good when he's good as he is naughty when he's naughty. I know he is my own kid, so of course I think he's brilliant, but really, Bo learns things so fast, and seems to be able to memorize just about anything. However, we have been working on Colors for a long time, and for a while, I seriously swear the kid was Color Blind! He could not get a color right to save his little soul. All the sudden lately, he has just picked it up! He knows Yellow, White, Green, and Black perfectly! We're still struggling a little with Brown, Red, and Blue. It really is pretty funny! I love his sweet little face, and even when I'm ready to pull my hair out, he can smile at me with his big blue eyes, and I just melt. I Just Love our little Bo!!

Cody: Our little Cody is finishing his second year of pre-school, and getting ready for Kindergarten! He has been in Speech for a little more than a month now, and we both love it!! His little speech teacher just couldn't be any cuter, and I think Cody has a little crush on her. We are working on his articulation, as well as his language, and I am so proud of him and his progress. This little boy is about as sweet as they come. His sweet little heart is so big, he can't stand to see anyone upset, or angry, or hurt! He is so protective of his little cousins, and his mom. He never wants anyone to be left out. We just signed him up for Tee-Ball, and can not believe he is old enough to begin the world of sports!! We are so excited!! He is such a joy to have in our home. Love Him!

Cory: Ah. The Corster! What can I say about him!? Along with all his faults (ha ha ha) he is absolutely the best Husband and Father on the planet. We have had some really tough roads in the short time we have been together, and I really do not know where I would be without him. He is the strongest, most handsome man (of course!) But, he is also the sweetest and most sensitive. He is still so happy with his job, but his passion is his hunting. We have an excellent Antelope I am lucky enough to have displayed on my wall, and he is hoping to add a bear or lion to that (it will NEVER happen) but it's cute that he goes out looking for the trophy! He is turning his hunting habits into a successful past time, so not too much to complain about! I am so proud of how hard he works for our family, and how passionate he is about the things he loves. He makes me Happy.

Holly: Like I said, we have had some rough roads in the six years we have been together, but we are doing well. On the baby front, we are NOT expecting, but we are still hoping. I feel like we have been so blessed with two beautiful boys, and I know our little girl, and little boy will always be part of our family. I want so badly to have another baby, but I have decided that if it is not meant to be, we will be happy with what we have been blessed with, and we will be okay.

So, there you have it. An update on the Huntsman Herd.

Nothing spectacular, but we're just plugging along happy as a couple little clams!

AUSTRALIA!

November is National Adoption Month,

So I stole this from a friends blog, but I think it is fantastic.

Anyone who has struggled with infertility, or adoption, or anything else that comes with getting these little miracles here, it is worth taking a minute to read:

(Thanks Steph!)

Adoption: Different Trips to the Same Place

By Diane Armitage printed in the April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column.

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane."

So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather then by air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.

(Mary again): I'd like to add an extension to this story though, because I think birthmoms have yet another kind of trip. Perhaps (because I haven't taken that trip I don't know for sure), it would be something like this:

You know that you'd like to travel to Australia someday, maybe in a few years or so, but have not started planning or packing for the trip at all. There's a lot to do before you can go to Australia. Then someone suddenly puts you on the plane and by the time you realize what's happened, you're already in mid-flight.

"Wait!" you say, "I'm not ready to go yet, this can't be happening!" But you have no choice now. Your friends and family are shocked to learn that you're on the plane, but they help you adjust to the trip. Slowly, though the flight has a bumpy start, you begin to get used to the idea of going to Australia, and by the end of the flight, you're actually excited to get there.

During the trip you hear of a couple who are traveling by boat and have waited a long time to visit Australia, but though they are on their way, they can't get into the country. "Perhaps", you think, "I can let them go in my stead," though the decision is hard to make since now you really want to go to Australia. In the end, you decide to let these other people go to Australia instead of you.

When the plane lands, you walk off and watch as people excitedly rush off to their destinations. But you only get to see the airport. It's a bittersweet moment as you watch this couple go out to explore the country, but you're at least happy that you were able to give them the chance to go. With heavy heart, you get back on the plane and fly home.

The couple sends you pictures and stories of their exciting adventures in Australia, and you start packing for the day when you can take the trip again, this time for yourself.

**Another addition, from me: I have taken the trip to Australia. Twice. Both times it was a first class trip. It was wonderful. Then, after taking a break from 'traveling', we decided we wanted to go again! This time, half-way through our flight, our plane crashed! We've been drifting in this ocean wondering how we'll be rescued. By some other plane? Maybe not first class, but still on the flight? Or will a boat come along and pick us up? Drifting is not a very nice place to be. You want to just be home, but you still dream of getting to Australia. You feel miserable about feeling miserable, because, unlike some, you've at least been to Australia, but you still feel like you haven't seen all of it! You miss it, and feel like your chance of getting back there is dwindling. You think about going by boat, but then you think, is it fair to take a place on the boat if you have already gone to Australia by plane, twice, when there are so many wonderful people just trying to get to Australia anyway they can?

However you get there, whenever you get there, it is worth it! It is worth all the heartache, the longing, the ups and downs, and everything in between! Hang in there! Your plane with be boarding soon! Or your ship will come in!

Sam

Hello Blog!

So much has happened this summer.

I have a lot to catch up on.

But, I'm not ready too.

Just FYI: Baby #4 was delivered on June 4. I was 14 weeks along.

I was able to hear his sweet little heartbeat, and lucky enough to find out he was a He.

Summer has been spent playing with family and friends, and taking some time to recover emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Things are good now, and I know they will continue to get better.

As soon as I have time to look at my pictures and organize them, I will post them.

Other than the first week, this summer has been a great one! I'm sad to see it end...

New Baby

I don't know if there is anything better than hearing your child's little heartbeat for the first time. I got to today.

After October, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to feel that same excitement about having a baby again, you forget what a miracle it is to get these little ones here, and sometimes you take it for granted, so when something horrible happens, even if it's in the odds, it feels like the end of the world. It is. And it's hard to look forward and be excited about it, when in the back of your mind the entire time are those horrible little words: What.If.

Then you get up the courage to try again, and month after month it's the same. Still no baby.

So then your mind starts to wonder, "maybe it's just not in the cards for us to have more kids." We looked at our options, but given the financial strain of some of them, and the fact that we had two healthy strong children, we decided we would try one more time and then we would have to accept whatever happened. It's an emotional roller-coaster.

We were thrilled when we found out we were expecting again, but it has been hard to get too excited. But today, when I heard that beautiful thump, thump, thump, it is absolutely impossible to NOT get excited. It is another miracle, and I am thrilled.

We are not all the way out of the woods just yet. Baby is doing great, but mom: not.so.much.

(stupid cervix!) There are a few things we have to keep an eye on, and there will be a few more Dr. visits, and few more ultra-sounds, but I really think everything is going to be fine.

Baby is due 12-07-10

I know! Another December Birthday!

I'll Take it!

Kids say the Darndest things!

I realized that I haven't really been documenting the things that come out of the mouths of my children, they are so funny that I don't want to forget!

Cody: Mom your a water buffalo!

Me: What?! Why am I a water buffalo!

(if he says cause you look like one, I'm going to smack him!)

Cody: I am a Kimodo Dragon, and I eat you!

Me: Hey Bo! Guess What?!

(not really expecting a response)

Bo: WHHAAT! (emphasis on the T)

It stopped there. I just busted up laughing!

Me: Cody lets say your prayers and go to bed.

Cody: (without any help from me)

Heavenly Father, thank you for this day, please bless mom, please bless dad, please bless bo bo, please bless baby, and please bless old macdonald's

in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

(Old MacDonald's is McDonald's!)

Bo: Hey Look!!!

Me: what?

Bo: Cow... E-I-E-I-O

(even if there is not a cow anywhere to be seen!)

Cody is really into know what everything eats. He knows deer, mountain lions, bears, whales, polar bears, birds, etc. He knows all the animals! But it doesn't just stop there. He likes to know what the people in our family eat as well, extended family included, some of his answers are pretty funny, but this one made me laugh out loud!

Cory: Hey Cody, what does mommy eat?

Cody: Ummmm. Oh Oh I know! COKE!!

Hmmm. Well, I can't really argue with that! :)

I'll have to post more as I think of them. Personally, I think my kids are freaking hilarious!