Sweet Baby Girl

This week has been one of the worst weeks of my life! I have been worried about my baby for a while since she didn't seem to be as active as my boys were, but I attributed that to the fact that this was a girl, and that she was was in my back, and the placenta was all in the front. Anyway, on Wednesday I wasn't feeling very well, not unusual for this pregnancy, but my head hurt, and I just felt off. I was looking forward to my doctors appointment on Thursday to see how the baby was doing. Thursday morning, I woke up to find that I was bleeding. It was awful!

Cory was at work, and I couldn't get a hold of him. I called my mom even though she was at school, I didn't even think to worry about that. She didn't hesitate, she didn't even question, she just said "I'm getting a substitute, and I'll be right there." Finally, I got a hold of the doctor and they said to come right away. Once again, I didn't hesitate, or think to call and ask first, I just put my boys in the car and headed next door to my mother-in-laws house. She works in the mornings, but as soon as I walked in her home, she didn't ask, or hesitate, she just said "I'll take care of the boys!" So I was off to the doctor.

My doctor seriously is the most amazing man! He is the kind of doctor that actually makes a difference in the lives of the people he is watching over. Right when I walked in the nurse wanted to go through the regular stuff, weight, urine sample, etc. But the doctor just said "I know your scared, so let's just go right back and figure this out." I was so grateful that I didn't have to wait a second longer! We tried to find the heartbeat first, but we couldn't, so we walked over to the ultra sound. By this time, my mom had come, and I was so grateful I didn't have to be alone. Her unconditional love and comfort helped get me through that horrible moment when the image of my baby girl was on the screen. She wasn't moving, there was no heartbeat, and I knew before the doctor said anything that she was gone. My heart broke, and I broke. They let me cry and didn't try to get me to stop or tell me it would be okay. They knew it wasn't okay. And what do you say to someone at that point? They just gave me some time and some unspoken comfort. Then the doctor gave me some options. I didn't know what to do, or who to call, and once again he came to the rescue. He told me not to worry about one thing, he would handle all the arrangements, I was just to go to the hospital at 6:00pm.

I finally got a hold of Cory and he was home before I knew it. All the love and support from those closest to me got me through those next few hours. Finally, six o'clock came around and I was terrified. Not only was this bad enough, but I didn't really know what to expect. The Dr. had told me that it could be excruciating, my mom had gone through this same thing, and said it would probably hurt, so I was scared for the pain too!

We got to the hospital and walked in, and I was nervous that we would have to go through a lot of explaining, but as soon as we walked in and gave the nurse my name, they just said they were expecting me, and led us into our room. There we met Shellie. Dr. Verad had requested that she take care of us through all of this, and once again I am so grateful to him. She was absolutely wonderful! She knew exactly what to do, and she talked me through all of it, and she let me cry, and she cried with me, and she just made me feel as comfortable as possible. Dr. Verad had left strict instructions to just give me whatever I wanted so I wouldn't be in pain. I didn't expect to see him, but then around 7:00 pm he showed up! He said he had been thinking about us and just wanted to see us before he headed home. Once again how great is he?

They started me at about 6:30 pm and told me it would take a little while to get started, but once it started it should go pretty fast. I didn't go into labor until about 3:30 am on Friday morning. Things finally got bad enough for a little help, so I asked for something for the pain. Seriously, I can not remember the name of the drug they gave me, but I'm pretty sure it's 'street name' would be the "Roadrunner". It was freaking awesome! One thing about delivering a baby that is not living, you get drugs that are a heck of a lot more fun! I think the nurse realized how much I was liking that drug though because they switched it for something else the next time. Probably for the better!

Our sweet baby girl was born at 7:00 am Friday October 23, 2009. She was a tiny little thing, but she had all her fingers and toes, and looked beautiful to me! All the blood tests came back completely normal, and there was no sign of a cord accident. It's just one of those things that can not be explained, it just wasn't her time.

We were able to hold her and spend some time with her to say goodbye, and tell her how much we loved her. It was a tender moment that seemed almost sacred. I know we are an eternal family, and I know I will have a chance to raise her some day, and I look forward to that. Cory has been by my side through this entire thing and I honestly do not know what I would do without him. He seems to know what I need before I even ask for it, and just having him hold me and tell me it would all be okay, and his sweet blessing helped more than anything else.

Another cute nurse put our little girl in this outfit and got her hand print and foot print for us, I can not say how much I loved this hospital and the staff, and my doctor. They turned this unbearable situation into something beautiful for us. Later we found out that the hospital was slammed that night. They didn't have enough beds for all the people in labor and delivery, and the nurses were running all over. Cory and I seriously thought we were the only two people in he hospital that night because they were so attentive and so caring during the whole process, start to finish! Words can not say how much I wish this could have been different. I wish I had my sweet baby girl home with me right now being stressed about no sleep, and taking care of a newborn, and all the stuff that goes with having a new baby. However, I feel so blessed to have had her even for the short time I was able to be her mom. I love her and can't wait for the day we are reunited as a family!

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We are getting through this, but only because we know we are not alone.

Duh!

I use this blog as my journal/scrapbook, and I just realized that I have not done a very good job of documenting what is going on in our lives! I have left out an enormous and fantastic fact! I think everyone knows by now, but I would like to officially announce...

We're getting a little GIRL!!

I am 17 weeks, and although we've had a few minor problems, (sick, exhausted, blood clots, gall bladder problems, and a few other things) we are moving forward, and doing great!

I am due March 18, 2010 which I think is a fabulous time to have a new baby.

I am terrified, and so grateful that I have both my families so close because I know I will be needing them a TON, but mostly I am just anxious to meet this sweet baby girl who has already stolen my heart!

Cory and I are having an extremely hard time deciding on a name (as usual) so I would like to invite anyone who would like to, to give us suggestions!

Cheers!

Another Year for the Bo Baby!

We celebrated Bo's 2nd birthday on Friday September 25. I can not believe he is two years old! This little boy is so much fun to have around. He is hysterical to watch. He goes on little "walks" wherever we go, like he just wants to check everything out, and get a feel for his surroundings. He loves other kids, but he is completely content to just play by himself, in his own little world. He is getting to be such a tease too, which keeps us all laughing. (Well, except for Cody, who does not find it very entertaining at all.) He loves his grandpa's and when they are around, no one else matters, and if there is water anywhere withing a 10 mile radius, it is impossible to keep him out of it! He has a smile that can melt your heart, and because his cuddles are few and far between, they make them all the more enjoyable. I look forward to spending more time with my sweet baby, and watching him grow and develop his little personality! We are so grateful for all you bring to our family Bo Baby! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We have the best parks out by us, but my favorite is over in Lakepoint. We had our families meet us there to play on the park, and roast hot dogs and marsh mellows for dinner.

Bo was totally into all his presents this year, the only problem was we kept making him open more! He just wanted to play with everything he opened. Instead, we just kept handing more presents! He was getting a little irritated!

And his interest is peaked...

And just when he thought he would actually get to play with something...

MOVING ON!

What is this??

I'm not sure who like this present more, Cody or Bo! I think I may have to go get another one, so they will stop fighting over it! It was a hit!

Bo got his very first Utah apparel from David & Amanda. Although we loved it, he was still diggin' the Cars!

And last but not least. Bo got a four wheeler just like grandpa's! He loves anything that has to do with riding his four wheeler, so I guess Mom & Dad scored!

Dad showing him how it works,

and the boy is off!

And then there is his mean mom again, taking him away from his toys to sing "Happy Birthday" and to have cupcakes for his birthday cake. (cupcakes courtesy of Grandma Weston!)

His cupcakes were darling, and so so yummy! They had sesame street characters on them, and each little boy got to blow out his own candles. (the characters lasted all but 5 minutes before they were being fought over. Note to self, get a set for each kid, instead of thinking they can share!)

Cody blowing out his candles.

I think a good time was had by all. I know Why guy had a blast!

Thank you everyone for all his birthday presents, for making the trip out! We love you!

And Happy Happy Birthday Bo! We love you!!

Water Fight Dad vs. Cody & Bo!

We spent a little more time in Bear Lake before the end of summer, and of course the boys had to take advantage of one last hot day, so they headed out back for a little water fight!

Cory would pick up Bo and charge Cody (who was holding the hose) and Cody would spray them, and they were laughing so hard it was killing me!

Is it bad that Cory used Bo as a shield to protect himself and sacrifice his son? Bo thought this was hilarious, so I guess it didn't matter!

Cody thought he was pretty tough welding that hose! He thought he was pretty safe.

Cory thought he was pretty safe too, until he realized Cody is a lot faster than he looks! Cody drenched him!

Oh the things the humor me!

I don't know if you can tell in this picture, but Bo is sportin' the Mohawk look. Aunt Sally gave it to him a little while ago, and have to say, I love it! I thought he looked so stinkin' cute. However, the grandparents were not the biggest fans of his new look, so we let it grow out. Unfortunately, I think this is the only picture I got of it!

Dad & Bo taking a breather after the excitement. Then, I had them all strip down before they could come back in the house. I didn't get pictures of them in there skivvies, but they sure looked cute to me!!

Quick Update...

Just for the sake of documenting, I'd like to say we are making progress with preschool! First, let it be known that Cody has loved preschool from the very beginning! Every time I go to pick him up he comes out so happy and has to talk to all his friends and say good bye to his teacher Miss Lindsay (have I mentioned how much I love her!) However, the dropping off part has not been going so well! The first day, he walked right up to the door so excited to be there, but when I got in the car and started to drive off, he RAN after the car crying! The teacher had to grab him and take him inside. The next time, he was a little more skeptical. We drove to school, he got his back pack, got out of the car, then opened my door, said "come on!" and took my hand. The closer we got to the door, the harder he held my hand. Finally, it was time to say goodbye at the door, and Miss Lindsay had to just take him, Crying, and walk into the house. For the second time I had to drive away from my baby crying. The third day was by far the worst! He threw a fit all morning. He cried in the car the whole way there. When we got there I got out to get him out and he Locked the door!! I unlocked the door, and had to pull him out of the car. He held on to the car with all his might, and I had to pry him off. Then he wrapped his body around mine, and cried the whole way to the door. Miss Lindsay just pried him off me, and told me to go! It was HORRIBLE!! Keep in mind, that every time I have gone to pick him up he has been happy as a clam! Which brings me to today. I count it a success! We got ready for school. He got in the car with his back pack. We drove to school. He didn't cry until I opened his door to get him out. Then he cried. I braced myself for another horrible goodbye. We walked to the door crying, and as soon as we got to where Miss Lindsay was standing to welcome the kids... Drum Roll... Cody stopped crying!! He just had me put him down, and walked right in to school! HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY! I didn't have to leave my baby crying today! I didn't have to feel like a failure of a mother today! My child likes school! And I am excited to go pick him up and see what he learned today and hear all about his day! It DOES get better!!!

Way to go Cody Boy! You made your mommy so happy today!!

First Day of School!

I can not believe I have a child old enough to start school! I know it's only preschool, but this was a really proud "mom" day! I took Cody to school this morning at 9:30 am. For those of you that know us, you know that is early for us! My boys don't even wake up until 10:00! What can I say? We are just not what you call "morning" people! Even though they don't wake up until mid-morning, they still need time to wake up. Knowing this, I decided to give Cody plenty of time to get ready for school this morning, so I woke him up at 7:45 am. He seemed to do okay, but we had to have a little cuddle time, and then he had to have a glass of milk, and a little later he had to have some waffles for breakfast, and finally it was time to start getting ready for school. We put on his new school clothes, combed his hair, brushed his teeth, and made sure he hit the potty before we were finally ready to leave!

We talked about school the whole way there! He was so excited. We had already met his teacher, and she is darling, so Cody knew what he was getting into.

Here he is getting ready to go into school with his class. It may look like he was nervous, but he wasn't at all! He ran right to his teacher!

Grandma bought him this awesome "Turtle Back Pack" (yes, it comes with turtle moves!) He had to show his moves to his teacher, so I snagged a picture!

He did fantastic, and I thought we were in the clear, so I hurried and got back in my car, and started to drive away... That's when it fell apart! Cody freaked. He started running after me, but I didn't know what to do! I didn't know if I should stop, or if I should just keep going, and I thought it would be easier for everyone if I just kept going! So I did! I drove away from my little boy crying on his first day of school! I turned the corner and pulled over, and fell apart! Holy traumatic day! I couldn't just go home, so I turned around and just drove past the house one more time to make sure he had gone inside! That was the longest 2 hours of my life! I was a wreck! FINALLY, it was time to go get my baby!

I had nothing to worry about! He came right out with the other kids in his class and he was so excited to tell me all about his day! He turned and said "Bye Miss Lindsay!" to his teacher, whom he adores, and then walked out to the car with me! I had to get another picture of him after school, in all his art work! (As you can see, he thinks his mom is a total dork!)

That's okay, because he's a dork too!!

I am so proud of you Cody boy!!

4th of July

We spent the 4th of July in Bear Lake. My mom & I loaded up our boat, packed up the boys, and headed up to the lake by ourselves last Tuesday. We usually go Logan way (Maddox! Need I say more?) but this time we decided that since we were pulling the boat we would go through Evanston. Last time we went that way, it was winter, and I got pulled over. I guess we're making it a tradition, because once again, we got pulled over. When we hooked up the boat, I guess we didn't put the plug for the running lights in all the way, so they weren't on. What a lame reason for getting a ticket! Just for the record, on both occasions, we were able to get by with just a warning! Phew!

Anyway, we stopped at the Wal-Mart to pick up a few last minute items, so Cody took the opportunity to drive.

As soon as we got to the cabin, we were unloading everything and I walked into my room to put some stuff away, and there was Bo, just chillaxin' like he had had such a rough day! It was too cute to pass up a photo op.

The next morning while we were getting breakfast ready, Bo decided to pull out all the stops on the chill factor...

Sweet Shades Baby!

Doodle took some time to wrestle with the kids. They ganged up on him, and they won!

When he finally collapsed, Cody just yanked his hair up and said "Come On!", and kicked him until he got back up!

It was an awesome weekend, we had a blast with our old friends the Peterson's, and the lake was beautiful. I promise I will make more of an effort to get better pictures! I just always forget to take my camera! The boys had a blast on the boat, and playing in the sand on the beach. We'll see what I can do for the 24th!