Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sweet Baby Girl

This week has been one of the worst weeks of my life! I have been worried about my baby for a while since she didn't seem to be as active as my boys were, but I attributed that to the fact that this was a girl, and that she was was in my back, and the placenta was all in the front. Anyway, on Wednesday I wasn't feeling very well, not unusual for this pregnancy, but my head hurt, and I just felt off. I was looking forward to my doctors appointment on Thursday to see how the baby was doing. Thursday morning, I woke up to find that I was bleeding. It was awful!

Cory was at work, and I couldn't get a hold of him. I called my mom even though she was at school, I didn't even think to worry about that. She didn't hesitate, she didn't even question, she just said "I'm getting a substitute, and I'll be right there." Finally, I got a hold of the doctor and they said to come right away. Once again, I didn't hesitate, or think to call and ask first, I just put my boys in the car and headed next door to my mother-in-laws house. She works in the mornings, but as soon as I walked in her home, she didn't ask, or hesitate, she just said "I'll take care of the boys!" So I was off to the doctor.

My doctor seriously is the most amazing man! He is the kind of doctor that actually makes a difference in the lives of the people he is watching over. Right when I walked in the nurse wanted to go through the regular stuff, weight, urine sample, etc. But the doctor just said "I know your scared, so let's just go right back and figure this out." I was so grateful that I didn't have to wait a second longer! We tried to find the heartbeat first, but we couldn't, so we walked over to the ultra sound. By this time, my mom had come, and I was so grateful I didn't have to be alone. Her unconditional love and comfort helped get me through that horrible moment when the image of my baby girl was on the screen. She wasn't moving, there was no heartbeat, and I knew before the doctor said anything that she was gone. My heart broke, and I broke. They let me cry and didn't try to get me to stop or tell me it would be okay. They knew it wasn't okay. And what do you say to someone at that point? They just gave me some time and some unspoken comfort. Then the doctor gave me some options. I didn't know what to do, or who to call, and once again he came to the rescue. He told me not to worry about one thing, he would handle all the arrangements, I was just to go to the hospital at 6:00pm.

I finally got a hold of Cory and he was home before I knew it. All the love and support from those closest to me got me through those next few hours. Finally, six o'clock came around and I was terrified. Not only was this bad enough, but I didn't really know what to expect. The Dr. had told me that it could be excruciating, my mom had gone through this same thing, and said it would probably hurt, so I was scared for the pain too!

We got to the hospital and walked in, and I was nervous that we would have to go through a lot of explaining, but as soon as we walked in and gave the nurse my name, they just said they were expecting me, and led us into our room. There we met Shellie. Dr. Verad had requested that she take care of us through all of this, and once again I am so grateful to him. She was absolutely wonderful! She knew exactly what to do, and she talked me through all of it, and she let me cry, and she cried with me, and she just made me feel as comfortable as possible. Dr. Verad had left strict instructions to just give me whatever I wanted so I wouldn't be in pain. I didn't expect to see him, but then around 7:00 pm he showed up! He said he had been thinking about us and just wanted to see us before he headed home. Once again how great is he?

They started me at about 6:30 pm and told me it would take a little while to get started, but once it started it should go pretty fast. I didn't go into labor until about 3:30 am on Friday morning. Things finally got bad enough for a little help, so I asked for something for the pain. Seriously, I can not remember the name of the drug they gave me, but I'm pretty sure it's 'street name' would be the "Roadrunner". It was freaking awesome! One thing about delivering a baby that is not living, you get drugs that are a heck of a lot more fun! I think the nurse realized how much I was liking that drug though because they switched it for something else the next time. Probably for the better!

Our sweet baby girl was born at 7:00 am Friday October 23, 2009. She was a tiny little thing, but she had all her fingers and toes, and looked beautiful to me! All the blood tests came back completely normal, and there was no sign of a cord accident. It's just one of those things that can not be explained, it just wasn't her time.

We were able to hold her and spend some time with her to say goodbye, and tell her how much we loved her. It was a tender moment that seemed almost sacred. I know we are an eternal family, and I know I will have a chance to raise her some day, and I look forward to that. Cory has been by my side through this entire thing and I honestly do not know what I would do without him. He seems to know what I need before I even ask for it, and just having him hold me and tell me it would all be okay, and his sweet blessing helped more than anything else.

Another cute nurse put our little girl in this outfit and got her hand print and foot print for us, I can not say how much I loved this hospital and the staff, and my doctor. They turned this unbearable situation into something beautiful for us. Later we found out that the hospital was slammed that night. They didn't have enough beds for all the people in labor and delivery, and the nurses were running all over. Cory and I seriously thought we were the only two people in he hospital that night because they were so attentive and so caring during the whole process, start to finish! Words can not say how much I wish this could have been different. I wish I had my sweet baby girl home with me right now being stressed about no sleep, and taking care of a newborn, and all the stuff that goes with having a new baby. However, I feel so blessed to have had her even for the short time I was able to be her mom. I love her and can't wait for the day we are reunited as a family!

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We are getting through this, but only because we know we are not alone.

Friday, October 9, 2009


I use this blog as my journal/scrapbook, and I just realized that I have not done a very good job of documenting what is going on in our lives! I have left out an enormous and fantastic fact! I think everyone knows by now, but I would like to officially announce...
We're getting a little GIRL!!
I am 17 weeks, and although we've had a few minor problems, (sick, exhausted, blood clots, gall bladder problems, and a few other things) we are moving forward, and doing great!
I am due March 18, 2010 which I think is a fabulous time to have a new baby.
I am terrified, and so grateful that I have both my families so close because I know I will be needing them a TON, but mostly I am just anxious to meet this sweet baby girl who has already stolen my heart!
Cory and I are having an extremely hard time deciding on a name (as usual) so I would like to invite anyone who would like to, to give us suggestions!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Another Year for the Bo Baby!

We celebrated Bo's 2nd birthday on Friday September 25. I can not believe he is two years old! This little boy is so much fun to have around. He is hysterical to watch. He goes on little "walks" wherever we go, like he just wants to check everything out, and get a feel for his surroundings. He loves other kids, but he is completely content to just play by himself, in his own little world. He is getting to be such a tease too, which keeps us all laughing. (Well, except for Cody, who does not find it very entertaining at all.) He loves his grandpa's and when they are around, no one else matters, and if there is water anywhere withing a 10 mile radius, it is impossible to keep him out of it! He has a smile that can melt your heart, and because his cuddles are few and far between, they make them all the more enjoyable. I look forward to spending more time with my sweet baby, and watching him grow and develop his little personality! We are so grateful for all you bring to our family Bo Baby! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We have the best parks out by us, but my favorite is over in Lakepoint. We had our families meet us there to play on the park, and roast hot dogs and marsh mellows for dinner.

Bo was totally into all his presents this year, the only problem was we kept making him open more! He just wanted to play with everything he opened. Instead, we just kept handing more presents! He was getting a little irritated!

And his interest is peaked...

And just when he thought he would actually get to play with something...

What is this??

I'm not sure who like this present more, Cody or Bo! I think I may have to go get another one, so they will stop fighting over it! It was a hit!

Bo got his very first Utah apparel from David & Amanda. Although we loved it, he was still diggin' the Cars!

And last but not least. Bo got a four wheeler just like grandpa's! He loves anything that has to do with riding his four wheeler, so I guess Mom & Dad scored!

Dad showing him how it works,

and the boy is off!

And then there is his mean mom again, taking him away from his toys to sing "Happy Birthday" and to have cupcakes for his birthday cake. (cupcakes courtesy of Grandma Weston!)

His cupcakes were darling, and so so yummy! They had sesame street characters on them, and each little boy got to blow out his own candles. (the characters lasted all but 5 minutes before they were being fought over. Note to self, get a set for each kid, instead of thinking they can share!)

Cody blowing out his candles.

I think a good time was had by all. I know Why guy had a blast!
Thank you everyone for all his birthday presents, for making the trip out! We love you!
And Happy Happy Birthday Bo! We love you!!

Water Fight Dad vs. Cody & Bo!

We spent a little more time in Bear Lake before the end of summer, and of course the boys had to take advantage of one last hot day, so they headed out back for a little water fight!

Cory would pick up Bo and charge Cody (who was holding the hose) and Cody would spray them, and they were laughing so hard it was killing me!

Is it bad that Cory used Bo as a shield to protect himself and sacrifice his son? Bo thought this was hilarious, so I guess it didn't matter!

Cody thought he was pretty tough welding that hose! He thought he was pretty safe.

Cory thought he was pretty safe too, until he realized Cody is a lot faster than he looks! Cody drenched him!

Oh the things the humor me!

I don't know if you can tell in this picture, but Bo is sportin' the Mohawk look. Aunt Sally gave it to him a little while ago, and have to say, I love it! I thought he looked so stinkin' cute. However, the grandparents were not the biggest fans of his new look, so we let it grow out. Unfortunately, I think this is the only picture I got of it!

Dad & Bo taking a breather after the excitement. Then, I had them all strip down before they could come back in the house. I didn't get pictures of them in there skivvies, but they sure looked cute to me!!