I don't know if there is anything better than hearing your child's little heartbeat for the first time. I got to today.
After October, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to feel that same excitement about having a baby again, you forget what a miracle it is to get these little ones here, and sometimes you take it for granted, so when something horrible happens, even if it's in the odds, it feels like the end of the world. It is. And it's hard to look forward and be excited about it, when in the back of your mind the entire time are those horrible little words: What.If.
Then you get up the courage to try again, and month after month it's the same. Still no baby.
So then your mind starts to wonder, "maybe it's just not in the cards for us to have more kids." We looked at our options, but given the financial strain of some of them, and the fact that we had two healthy strong children, we decided we would try one more time and then we would have to accept whatever happened. It's an emotional roller-coaster.
We were thrilled when we found out we were expecting again, but it has been hard to get too excited. But today, when I heard that beautiful thump, thump, thump, it is absolutely impossible to NOT get excited. It is another miracle, and I am thrilled.
We are not all the way out of the woods just yet. Baby is doing great, but mom: not.so.much.
(stupid cervix!) There are a few things we have to keep an eye on, and there will be a few more Dr. visits, and few more ultra-sounds, but I really think everything is going to be fine.
Baby is due 12-07-10
I know! Another December Birthday!
I'll Take it!