Thursday, November 4, 2010


November is National Adoption Month,
So I stole this from a friends blog, but I think it is fantastic.
Anyone who has struggled with infertility, or adoption, or anything else that comes with getting these little miracles here, it is worth taking a minute to read:
(Thanks Steph!)

Adoption: Different Trips to the Same Place
By Diane Armitage printed in the April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column.

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane."

So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather then by air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.

(Mary again): I'd like to add an extension to this story though, because I think birthmoms have yet another kind of trip. Perhaps (because I haven't taken that trip I don't know for sure), it would be something like this:

You know that you'd like to travel to Australia someday, maybe in a few years or so, but have not started planning or packing for the trip at all. There's a lot to do before you can go to Australia. Then someone suddenly puts you on the plane and by the time you realize what's happened, you're already in mid-flight.

"Wait!" you say, "I'm not ready to go yet, this can't be happening!" But you have no choice now. Your friends and family are shocked to learn that you're on the plane, but they help you adjust to the trip. Slowly, though the flight has a bumpy start, you begin to get used to the idea of going to Australia, and by the end of the flight, you're actually excited to get there.

During the trip you hear of a couple who are traveling by boat and have waited a long time to visit Australia, but though they are on their way, they can't get into the country. "Perhaps", you think, "I can let them go in my stead," though the decision is hard to make since now you really want to go to Australia. In the end, you decide to let these other people go to Australia instead of you.

When the plane lands, you walk off and watch as people excitedly rush off to their destinations. But you only get to see the airport. It's a bittersweet moment as you watch this couple go out to explore the country, but you're at least happy that you were able to give them the chance to go. With heavy heart, you get back on the plane and fly home.

The couple sends you pictures and stories of their exciting adventures in Australia, and you start packing for the day when you can take the trip again, this time for yourself.

**Another addition, from me: I have taken the trip to Australia. Twice. Both times it was a first class trip. It was wonderful. Then, after taking a break from 'traveling', we decided we wanted to go again! This time, half-way through our flight, our plane crashed! We've been drifting in this ocean wondering how we'll be rescued. By some other plane? Maybe not first class, but still on the flight? Or will a boat come along and pick us up? Drifting is not a very nice place to be. You want to just be home, but you still dream of getting to Australia. You feel miserable about feeling miserable, because, unlike some, you've at least been to Australia, but you still feel like you haven't seen all of it! You miss it, and feel like your chance of getting back there is dwindling. You think about going by boat, but then you think, is it fair to take a place on the boat if you have already gone to Australia by plane, twice, when there are so many wonderful people just trying to get to Australia anyway they can?

However you get there, whenever you get there, it is worth it! It is worth all the heartache, the longing, the ups and downs, and everything in between! Hang in there! Your plane with be boarding soon! Or your ship will come in!


christine said...

After I read this story and everything in it my eyes filled with tears! This gives me hope to get there, Thanks Holly for this story!!

Kim said...

Way to make me cry :).