Monday, January 16, 2012

Lucky 13... or not?

I'm Pregnant. It is a Miracle. Literally.
This has been a LONG time coming. In October, after months of fertility, I was told that I would not be able to have anymore children, and I needed to start thinking about a Hysterectomy. I was devastated, but I kept thinking I needed to hurry and get it done before the end of the year for insurance purposes, but I just couldn't make myself make the call. Finally, we decided this wasn't a decision you rush to make just to avoid a new deductible, so I chilled out a little.
Next thing I know, I'm pregnant!

So. I am pregnant for the 13th time. 13!
Is 13 Lucky? I feel so blessed, and yes, LUCKY to be expecting again. And the first 13 weeks of pregnancy were great! I was Sick, and Tired, and deliriously happy! Then Week 13 came.

All the same old familiar problems started. Cramping, back problems, etc. I went to see my sweet Dr. and right away he took me into a room so we could listen for that heartbeat. That moment of silence after they put the microphone to your belly, before the sound of that heartbeat, is the worst silence in the entire world!! And then FINALLY that racing beat! I was so relieved!! The baby was Fine. To make sure, my Dr. did a quick ultrasound to see what could be causing my pain. Cysts. The Dr. said is was going to be ok, we were just going to keep an eye on them, and I was to take it easy.

From there it just went down hill. I am 15 weeks now, and this week started out with a bang. On Sunday night I started spotting. For me, that means one thing. I showed up at Dr. Verads office with big tears asking if they could find a heartbeat. I have to say, I LOVE my Dr. and I LOVE his staff. They took me right in, no appointment, no warning. They were all so concerned, and so sympathetic. We went back to listen for the heartbeat.
I KNEW we weren't going to hear anything. I KNEW he was going to say, "We can't hear it with this, but lets go do a quick look and see." And then I KNEW we were going to do an ultrasound and see the same thing I've seen more often than not. A baby, and no Heartbeat, and that would lead to all the other steps that go along with losing a baby.

However, this time was different. There was STILL a Heartbeat!!! The minute I heard it, I think I fell apart! I can not explain the feelings I had. I was so incredibly thankful to my Father in Heaven for not letting this be like all the other times. And I cried. Holy Cow I cried!! I was Hysterical! And my sweet Dr. just kept the microphone on my belly, even though it was violently jerking with my sobbing, just so I could just listen to that incredible sound of my baby's heart beating! After a few minutes, when my sobbing slowed down, he asked if I was ok to hold still for a minute so he could really listen to the heart and make sure it was ok. And then we went in for an ultrasound to see what was causing all the problems.

My Placenta tore a little, which is what caused the bleeding. Without all the medical jargon, here is the problem: I have thick blood that clots and blocks the placenta. For my treatment, I give myself a shot everyday that is going to thin out my blood, and we're hoping that will solve the problem. It's a pretty aggressive treatment, but after consulting with a few other doctors and knowing this is basically my last chance at having another child, we decided to go for it. The risk being I hemorrhage and die. Cory and I are optimistic that this time is going to be different, and we will be able to bring home the final member of our family.

I think we are doing the right thing, and I feel confident that everything will be fine.
In the past, my pregnancies have only made it to week 10, with 2 exceptions. We lost a little boy at 15 weeks, and our little girl at 23 weeks. Since I am 15 weeks now, we met that mile stone. I have my eyes set on week 23, if we can make it that far, I think we'll have this thing in the bag.

I wanted to thank everyone for your kind words, and support, and most of all your prayers!!


Errin and Stephanie Dalton said...

Prayers with you Cory and Holly!! Only with the exception that I get to be your delivery nurse of course. Call anytime!!

Love ya sweetie!

~Kerissa said...

I am so excited for you guys. I am sure many prayers are being said on behalf of you, your family and that precious little one, and add my prayers too. I've always loved you guys and am excited for the day you get to bring that baby home :)

Kim said...

Way to make me cry on a Friday night :). Love you!

Cookie Craving said...

I'm an old friend of Cory's and I just think you are a remarkable woman of great faith! Your great desire for children is a wonderful reminder of how special each child is and how they change our lives for the better! I hope and pray that all goes well for you in this pregnancy!