Pneumonia

A couple of weeks ago, we were getting ready to celebrate spring break. The weather seemed to be getting better, and we were anxious to be getting outside to enjoy it. First stop, Hogle Zoo! We had a great day, with great weather, unfortunately for us, that is where the fun stopped!

Our little cousin Jaxson got sick in the car on the way home from the zoo, and it was all downhill from there!

That Monday night, both boys woke up at EXACTLY the same time to puke their guts out! Cory was taking care of one boy, and I had the other. It was fun. It was the flu. Sucks, but no big deal. It happens.

The next day by noon Cody was 100% back to normal. So we were just waiting for the Bo to catch up. No such luck. He just kept getting worse, and worse, and his fever would not go away, and then he started losing his appetite, and then he stopped drinking, and by Wednesday, I had one sick little boy, and it was time to take him to the doctor. I took him to our pediatrician whom we love, thinking I had just let my baby get dehydrated, but a quick fix. 5 minutes into our visit, I realized it was much more than that.

The doctor ordered some x-rays of his chest, and belly, and we were admitted to the Mountain West Medical Center. I do love that hospital, and they could not have been nicer, however, they are just not geared towards children! They brought Bo his food, (Talapia), but of course he's not going to eat anything like that! They got him hooked up to an IV to start getting him hydrated and to start a round of antibiotics because the x-rays showed a spot of pneumonia in his lower lobe on his left side. Yep, I had one sick little boy!

They poked him and ran tests, and hooked him up on oxygen, and the whole time he took it like a champ! He was just too sick to even fight back.

Here we are having a moment of cuddling our little baby, and trying to decide what to do. Stay there, or try and get him to Primary Children's.

Getting hydrated seemed to help, but even having mommy hold him didn't help much. He was just in too much pain!

They wrapped his arms where the IV's were, and he ended up looking like he had been through the war, and the poor boy couldn't even use his hands! Breaks my heart!

He had no energy, and didn't even want to put up a fight. He just wanted to feel better!

We were there for two nights, and it seemed like Bo was getting better. The cute volunteers brought him in a darling little bear, and that was the first time in days that I had seen my little boy even smile! Finally, on Friday, the doctor said he thought we would be able to go home and just continue on oral antibiotics. I was excited to go home, but I was taking home a boy who still seemed so sick I couldn't believe he was okay to go home.

We got home Friday night, and Bo seemed happy to be home, but there still wasn't very much life in his little body. By this time, it had been a whole week since he had walked, and there was still no sign of him getting ready to even try. Friday night went okay, but already we were having trouble getting him to eat, or drink. Saturday was much of the same. No eating, giving him water through a syringe, and just trying to make him comfortable. Saturday night around 2:00 in the morning, he woke up struggling to breath, and had a fever back up around 103. I just wanted to put him in the car right then and take him to the hospital, but we got him calmed down again, and decided to try and wait it out until the morning.

Sunday morning we woke to see the Easter Bunny had been to our house, had filled our Easter baskets with all kinds of goodies, and even left his "tracks" outside in the snow! (Cody had to check for his tracks to make sure.) Our Easter lasted about 15 minutes. Then we had a phone call from our Doctor to see how the little one was doing and after filling him in on what had happened, he agreed it was time to take him to primary children's.

My family had gone to St. George to celebrate Easter, but Cory's parents were having a little Easter celebration over at their house, so they were kind enough to take Cody with them for us so we could head to the hospital for the second time!

Dr. H called ahead to the hospital so they would be expecting us. As soon as we got there, they got us right in and got Bo started on the IV antibiotics and getting him hydrated again. That hospital is absolutely Fantastic! Everyone was so kind and took such good care of our little family! We had to get more x-rays, and run more tests, but then we were finally put in a room where Bo could finally get some much needed rest!

We were greeted with a big Easter Basket for Bo filled with little toys, crayons, coloring book, and the favored Bubbles! It was darling! Not to mention the non-stop children movies being played to help take his mind off all the stuff that was happening to him. Right away he seemed to be doing better! But we were still in for a long haul!

Rambles

March 18.

I have been dreading this day.

I should have been looking forward to today with excitement. I should be worried and excited about all the things that come with having a new baby. Instead, I'm feeling empty and so heartbroken that I don't get to be with my sweet baby girl who was born on October 23, 2009 at 20 weeks.

Ellie. Cory never liked that name, but I'm sure, had I been able to carry her to term, I would have talked him into it. We should be home together as a family. I should be deciding what darling little outfit to put her in today, and I should be stressed out, and loving every minute of it. I never thought this would happen to me.

I know many people who have lost a child and my heart aches for them. The devastation I feel at losing my baby is more that I can explain. I never got to know her, I don't know who she would have taken after, if she would have been stubborn & hardheaded (most likely), or if she would have been so sweet and calm. I don't know who she would have ended up looking like, and I don't know how our boys would have been with a little sister. (I'm guessing they would have loved her.) But she was my child. I loved her, and love her still. And on days like this, when a milestone comes along, I will miss her even more, and remember her, and wonder "what if". I hate that. I hate that I don't get to know, that I just have to speculate at how it could have been. So even though we didn't get time with her, in this life, she was mine, she was ours, and I can not wait until we can be together again.

Luke 1:70

Last week Cody brought home that little strip of paper from primary informing us that he had been asked to give the scripture in primary the following week. Seeing him with that little assignment was so exciting, and so heart wrenching at the same time. I was excited for Cody to be asked to do such a "big boy" thing, but it hit me that my baby is growing up way too fast!

Anyway, we worked on memorizing his scripture all week long, and Cody did an AWESOME job!

His scripture was Luke 1:70

As he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets, which have been since the world began.

When it was his turn to get up and give his scripture, he hopped right up to the podium, and said his scripture without any help from me! He knew it, and he was proud of it!

It translated in "Cody" to:

As he spake by the mowf of his holy prophet, which have been SINCE THE WORLD BEGAN

Wuke 1:70!

He looked darling, and his grandparents, along with his parents all came to watch him in all his glory! We were so proud of him, and can't believe how big our Codes is getting!

I made him pose for a picture in the hall after church so we could document this special occasion!

How cute is this little boy?

Good job Codes! We are so proud of you!

Wash the dishes...

My dishwasher does not work, so I have to wash my dishes by hand (hence the stacks of dishes!) this is not my favorite thing to do, but just because I don't like it doesn't mean Bo doesn't! In fact, I think it's his FAVORITE thing! As soon as the sink is full of soapy water, Bo is looking all over the house for the "perfect" things to put in the sink!

I am not kidding, his selection is a serious business! He picks things up, inspects them, and then either tosses them back in the toy bin, or runs into the kitchen to throw it in the sink! Of course, I tell him no, so now, when he's ready to throw something in, he turns me away from the sink, and pushes me all the way out of the kitchen then runs fast to hurry and throw his toy in the sink before I can stop him. The first time he did it, I had no idea what he was doing, it didn't take long to catch on to the not-so-sneaky little bugger, but he just makes me laugh, so I snuck around the other side of the kitchen, and took a picture of him in the act!

Hurrying to throw his toy in!

This one made him laugh out loud, like he was playing the BEST trick! Who would notice a Big Red Ball in the sink!?

I tried to get a close up of all the toys that have been thrown in. You can't see them very well with all the bubbles, but my sink was seriously full of toys!

Since this first time, he has actually gotten better at sneaking, and better at picking what he throws in so as not to let me know until it's time to rinse! So when I'm rinsing my dishes, I pull out mini dinosaurs, teenage mutant ninja turtle weapons, marbles, farm animals, and lately I'm finding screws and pennies! (I have no idea where those are coming from, but I have been looking for his stash!)

This kid just keeps me laughing. He is so naughty, but so cute it's hard to punish him for it! I love my little trickster!

Randoms...

I borrowed a camera from my Mother-in-law, as well as my own mother (because mine is broken), and I was pleasantly surprised to see pictures I had forgotten about. I wanted to document a few so I wouldn't forget! So here we go...

Memory #1

I was making pumpkin rolls one Sunday night for dessert, and while I was distracted somewhere else, this is what happened!

Cody climbed up to the counter where the powder sugar was, and started making his own creation! If you'll notice the bottle of Cinnamon next to the powdered sugar...

I didn't realize it at the time, when I was cleaning up the mess, but Cody had dumped the whole bottle of cinnamon in the powdered sugar and mixed it up himself! When did we realize this?

The next time we decided to bake something that called for powdered sugar, we kept thinking something tasted different! Hmmm. Cinnamon-ie in something that shouldn't have had cinnamon in it! Then it dawned on us! REMEMBER when Cody did this???? Oh Yeah!

Memory #2

Last summer, my mom and I went to visit my sister in Park City to get a little "Hair Therapy", behind her salon is the coolest little park, so I took my boys to let them play while Sally took care of us. My poor little Bo was just having an "off" day! He tripped and hurt himself more than once, so when we got back in the car, it looked as though this poor child had been through the war! So Sad!

Notice the gigantic goose egg on the forehead, along with all the blood! He got a bloody nose before the Goose egg! I really was watching him, and I was standing right there when all of these boo-boos happened, but sometimes, you just can't save them from themselves! I'm sorry Bo Baby!

Memory #3

Oh this makes me laugh right out loud! This kid is seriously hilarious! Cody has some pants that sometimes he can't get undone by himself, so he needs some help. If you help him anywhere but the bathroom, this is what happens. He rips his pants down to his ankles, right where you are, and then he will proceed to "HOP" to the bathroom to go potty! I don't know why, but it makes me laugh every time he does it!

So there we are, some of our forgotten memories. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!

Betrayed.

I feel like my body has betrayed me. Yesterday I was sad, but today, I'm just ticked off!

I know I have two beautiful, healthy children, and I know I am blessed. I feel blessed. But today, right now, I'm just mad that this body of mine for some reason will not let me carry another healthy child! I know we will figure it out. And, if we can not have any more children, I will be thankful for what we do have, but I will still be pissed.

Also, I love my husband. I don't know how he does it. I am crazy, and he loves me anyway!

I love you Cor!

Just for Me...

My camera is still broken, but there are so many things going on that I don't want to forget, so these random things are just for my family and me, to remember...

*Cody is talking more and more everyday. He is going from this really shy child, to this loud outgoing Boy! It has been so fun to watch. We're still waiting to get into speech, but while we're waiting, he's certainly getting better and better!

*I laugh every time Cody goes "poot" and yells at me to "Come wipe me bum!"

*Bo sings 'Old MacDonald everyday, ALL day! His animal sounds are hilarious! Especially the pig! (He got a pig from his Grandma Jill that makes noise, the only problem is, the battery is dying, so it sounds more like a growling sick pig. So when you tell Bo to say what the piggy says, he sounds like the sick pig instead of the real pig!)

*Bo has been watching Cody and I work on writing his name, so now, Bo gets a pen and paper, and writes his Name! A (drag out the A sound) O (Draw out the O sound) What? That's not his name?! I know! But those are the letters he always wants to use!

*Bo points out EVERY Cow, Horse, and Sheep we see wherever we go, in any form! As long as it looks like one to Bo, he'll yell it out!

*Cody loves numbers! He'll point out every number he finds. He can count to 20 by himself, and he counts to 10 in Spanish (courtesy of Go Diego Go!)

*Both my boys love animals. We are waiting patiently for this weather to warm up so we can start spending our time outside again.

*Both my boys are jumpin' fools! Tramps, Beds, it doesn't matter! They'll even just jump on the floor wherever we go!

*We spend A LOT of time in the Tub! These two are water dogs. It's not unusual for my boys to take 2 or 3 baths in one day! Bo likes to lie down in the water on his back ALL THE WAY UNDER WATER! It's creepy to watch him look at you from under the water! I don't dare leave him in the tub alone for even 1 second, so I am getting a lot of reading in.

*Last but not least, I'm pregnant again! Yep! We're trying again! I just barely took a test day before yesterday, so I'm not very far along. I'm having so many mixed emotions about it, so I wanted to write them down. Just for me. I know with my history, I shouldn't be telling anyone, but that just isn't how I do things. I gotta jump in with both feet and just hope and pray, and pray, and pray for the best. So far, I've been tired, and super Grouchy! My Doctor is awesome, and I'm doing everything I can to make this a healthy pregnancy, so we'll just wait and see what happens! I am terrified for everything! Every pain, every symptom, every everything! If all goes well (fingers crossed) this baby will be here the end of October!

Happy Love Month!

**Revised-2/11/10**I guess it wasn't in the cards for us. Back to the doctor to figure out what is going on with this body of mine! I don't know if I can go through this again.