Thursday, August 28, 2008

Cory Chronicles

So, my husband is forever making fun of me for blogging. (Whatever! Blogging is COOL!) Anyway, I have endured his teasing, and "Blog Comments" but then the other day he says to me... "I checked out your blog, and there is hardly anything on there about me!" Well Duh! He makes fun of it! I didn't think he wanted me putting him on the dumb thing. However, I have decided to add a new segment to my blog... The Cory Chronicles! As much as I love my stinkin' awesome hubby, he has a tendency to do strange things! So, in leau of pictures for this first section, I will just jot down a few of my favorite 'Cory Moments'! Since my husband is on a Bear Hunt, I thought this would be the perfect time to get those stories out there, before he has a chance to retract any! I hope you enjoy these as much as I have! It is all meant in good fun! I love you Honey!!!

Cory: Summer of '04
Cory and I had been dating for a while and we had decided that we wanted to get married. An opportunity to buy a house came up that we just couldn't pass up, so we talked to our parents (Cory told my parents of his intentions to marry me) and they gave us the go ahead so we purchased a house before we were "officially" engaged. Well, then project after project came up so the buying of the ring kept getting pushed back. I was fine with it at first, but then I started getting bugged! Cory didn't want a long engagement, but hello! We were homeowners together! Isn't that pretty much a dead give away!? I kept telling him he had to buy me a stinkin' ring, and he kept telling me he was working on it! Well, I went out to our house one night (just to make things clear, we weren't living together, we just owned a house together! I was still living my parents) I got to our house and out in the field is a big ol' horse! I thought it was weird, but didn't really put that much thought into it. Well, Cory had bought the brute without telling me! Holy Cow I was mad! He bought a horse, but he didn't buy me an engagement ring!! We got in a big fight and I stormed in the house and went to the back bedroom and slammed the door. Well, all the sudden I hear the door open and I thought it was just Cory, but then I hear this loud Clip, Clop, Clip, Clop.... He brought the freaking horse in the house!!! Who does that? Not only did he bring it in the house, he brought it down the hall, and into our room!!! He just wanted me to look at him and see how beautiful he was and blah blah blah. Well, I did look, and let me tell you looking at a giant horse in your bedroom is a pretty strange thing, I busted up laughing and we made up! He is a crazy man! (And he officially proposed not too long after that! So, I guess it was worth it!)

Cory Winter '06
Cory is a big hunter. He hunts anything and everything and there is nothing I can do about it. Well, Cory went duck hunting one cold winter morning and when I got home from work he was so excited about something. He was grinning like an idiot and told me he had a surprise for me! I was a little skeptical, but hey! I love surprises! So he tells me to look in the freezer. What!? I thought maybe he stopped and picked me up my favorite ice cream or something equally yummy, what other kinds of surprises could possibly be in the freezer? I opened up the freezer door and ... Surprise! There's a duck! ALIVE!!!! I don't know who was more shocked, me or Cory! Cory looks at it and says, "It was dead when I put it in there!" Hello! 'It was dead when I put it in there?' That was his surprise? A dead frozen duck that actually turned out to be alive? Are you kidding me?

Cory Spring '06
There isn't much to do out here in good ol' Tooele, but we manage to entertain ourselves. We got a Cal Ranch store not too long ago and it became Cory's favorite store. It has all this ranching equipment, hunting stuff, and horse stuff. Cory talked me in to going there with him to look at something. He was looking at all this boring stuff, and I was just hanging out. We walked by this aisle with these big long pole things with a little fork thing on the end. So I pull it out and I asked Cory what it was, he took it from me and looked at it, and told me it was a cattle prod. He then proceeded to pretend to jab me with it. So I am telling him to knock it off, and he tells me "they don't even work". At that moment he put his hand on the end of it, and pushed the button and oh my heck I thought he was going to die! He hucked the prod as far as he could and yelled some choice words I can not post, and then started hopping up and down holding his hand! I seriously thought I was going to wet my pants!! You can imagine the power of the electrical current in that thing! It's used to shock a big fat cow!!! Just think what it would do to a person's hand!! It still makes me laugh to think about it. I loved it!!

Cory Fall '08
Last week Cory talked me into going to "Road his Hounds" to get them ready for the hunt this week. (Yeah, I'm a redneck. I've decided to embrace it! Pink Flamingo Anyone? A garden gnome maybe?) So I went with him and our boys up the mountain behind our house. This is how you "Road a Hound": You take a Cat in a roll cage up the mountain as far as you can go in the truck. Cory gets out and puts the cat in a tree. Then he takes a stick with "Scent" on it (it's piss. Sorry to be so crude but that is what it is! Piss from whatever animal you want the hounds to track. Gross!) He then takes the stick with the scent on it and walks down the mountain in a weird pattern so the dogs can learn to track the animal. It was my job to drop him off at the top of the mountain and then drive down to the bottom with the dogs and the boys and meet him at some designated spot so he can release the dogs, and then we drive back up to the cat and make sure the dogs have it tree'd properly! (Yes, people do this!) So I am down at the bottom with my boys and the dogs waiting for my husband and here he comes running down the mountain with dirt all over him and his pants split from front to back. He comes over to the truck and I just look at him. He still hasn't told me what he did to split his pants, or how he got so dirty, but given his history, I know it had to be pretty good. I'll get it out of him and post it later!

And this concludes the first chapter in the Cory Chronicles. Oh there is more... much more, I just have a lot to do, and this is taking longer that I thought!! There will be more to come!

I seriously love my husband with all my heart. He is the greatest, and he will probably kill me for these stories, but there too good! They must be shared!!!

2 comments:

KIM {POPPY SEED PROJECTS} said...

HAHAHAHA! I already knew all of these stories (except the last one) and I was STILL laughing my head off reading them. Good post.

Tyler and Margaret said...

So Funny! Cory is a kick!